Our Story

Little Gwen

Gwen (I) was born in 1968, in the small town of Scitboro in the GLORIOUS Colony of Atlantis to the wealthiest and most successful family in the town, the Ambersmiths, who in 1969 moved upstream to Grenton for business. In the 1982 Axolotlian Civil War, I was a mere 14 years old, and the damn fucking COMMUNISTS occupied Grenton, I had already been taught to hate the fucking Axolotlian Govt and their filthy awful SOCIALISM that was STEALING my family's money to fund EVERYTHING. So my family fled back to Scitboro on the recently built high speed rail line, the speed of the train managed to outpace a helicopter set after the train from Grenton with the goal of executing the Ambersmiths.

After the war I quickly learned how to business, and in 1985, at 17, I already was a MASTER at making money, making 189.2k 2025 usd equivalent in 1985. Only 112.3k of it was from birthday and holidays from my family.

Gwen Ambersmith married William Evette in 1987 at just 19 years old, after finding my "one true love" just 5 months prior, they divorced 4 months later, after I RIGHTFULLY beat him up and hospitalized him for looking at another woman, my family paid him off.

Life Inc. Founding

I got into the idea of making my own company at the age of 20 in 1988 when I saw a young kid made 6.121 waru (563.56 usd in 2025) from a lemonade stand in Lucinia. At the same time, I made college friends with a POOR BROKE BITCH named Jerry Sewerslide, a FOREIGN named Bjorn Bjornsson, and a very normal Axolotlian named Harold Phillips. On July 6th, 1991 they all started setting up lemonade stands and started making lots of money. Around this time, we bought 9,450 artisanal stone blanket statues.

Life Incorporated was founded by the 4 on November 7th, 1991 as Life Gives Thou Lemons Incorporated, a mere year later it was shortened to Life Incorporated, nowadays often shortened to Life Inc. Founded as the GROUP of friends’ lemonade stands who got together to make the GREATEST lemon based company EVER, they then bought some empty land in Grent Riverside Plantations and started a lemon farm. Life Inc. snowballed into a VERY VERY VERY SUCCESSFUL farm and company.

Life Inc. Pre-Lifeton

[Hello I am Kimberly (not really, I just am not going to spill my real name in case Gwen reads this), I am now writing because Gwen got knocked out by her illegal pet gret.]

By 1994, just weeks before Canada invaded Axolotlia, Harold conspired with Jerry to kick Bjorn out of Life Inc. on the basis of nationality, Gwen was out of town in Abilobotch trying to find and kill members of endangered species, purely for the thrill. Bjorn found out about the plan to kick him and, given he was the only one with access to the Life Inc. website and held it hostage until they acknowledged all four members were equal, when Gwen got back she learned Life Inc was about to be dissolved with the farmland to be sold off during it's first harvest and she had an idea, she convinced the other 3 to all sell their shares to her and she would employ them as managers, they agreed.

Lifeton Era

One decade later in 2004, after incredible profits from the lemons, and absolutely no extortion whatsoever, Life Inc. was a juggernaut, with the entirety of the town of Grent Riverside Plantations in our ownership on the brink of being renamed Gwenton, which was changed last minute to Lifeton. Jerry, Bjorn, and Harold became basic laborers laboring in the farm having been demoted 6 times each till Gwen was unchallenged, they became what the govt calls slaves like the rest of the people in Lifeton, Bjorn though... he has the so called privilege of being the only one allowed sex with Gwen, though he never agreed to it, and always comes out of the Spire with bruises, he is kept on a very very tight leash, never allowed far from the center of Lifeton, because Gwen really doesn't want him lost.

In 2011 the military sieged Lifeton and still hasn't stopped till this day in 2024, and ever since they have regularly raided, destroying farmland and freeing slaves. Harold was freed in 2018.

2026 UPDATE

HOLY SHIT LIFETON IS FREE LIFE INCORPORATED IS DISMANTLING Gwen escaped BUT LIFE INC. IS FINALLY FUCKING OVER.